Robocop 2 – Retro Wednesdays Episode 32

imgres-1In this episode we take a look at Robocop 2. Oh boy…I’ll admit that despite not being a very good game, I have a soft spot for the first Robocop. Yes you’re way to tall and you spend more time punching dogs and random people than I’d like. Yes the time mechanic is confusing as all hell, but there’s just something about it I like. So I was at least somewhat hopeful that Robocop 2 would be a pretty good game.

Boy was I wrong.

This game SUCKS. It’s honestly up there with the Hunt for Red October for one of the worst games I’ve ever played. From he controls to the graphics, to the music, Robocop 2 fails on every single level.  The game was developed by the European developer, Ocean which means right off the bat I assumed there would be some weird feeling to the game and I was 100% right. One of the biggest problems with the game is that when you move you build up this ridiculous inertia. The best way I can describe it is it is like the whole game  you are moving on ice. But it goes much further. It effects jumping as well. I can’t count how many times I would be mid jump and my momentum randomly changed often resulting in a cheap death. If you are going to build a game as a side scroller platformer it would be a good idea to have controls that don’t make you want to throw the game out a window.

Speaking of gameplay I have to talk about the level design of Robocop 2. So in each level there are bottles of Nuke (I’m guessing it’s Nuke since it’s never really explained), and sometimes you have to rescue prisoners or arrest other people. Keep in mind NONE of this is explained at all. To arrest people you punch them off the screen instead of, you know arresting them, and other people you “arrest” look like people in trouble. It’s so freaking confusing you feel hopeless. But it gets even better. To beat each level you have to collect a certain number of Nuke bottles and a certain number of arrests. Again these numbers are not explained. So you have to guess. If you guess wrong you get sent to some remedial shooting game which also sucks, THEN if you pass that you get to play the level again. It’s a convoluted mess that is just awful.

Robocop 2 doesn’t stop there you also have some really horrid graphics. Robocop looks too short and has a huge torso compared to his legs, you have repetitive cut scenes that for some reason make Robocop look super shiny. It becomes annoying and frankly a bit pretentious like “look at how cool this is!” over and over again. I wish they spent less time on those graphics and more on the actual game.

And of course, Robocop 2 wouldn’t be complete without music that is utterly forgetful. The sound effects along are annoying enough to want to quit, but you couple it with the music and Robocop 2 is almost tolerable if you have it on mute.

In the end the game is just so disappointing. I mean it’s ROBOCOP. You have such good material to work with and you end up with garbage like this. It’s nothing more than a moneygrab meant to cash in on a bad development of a popular title. Do youself a favor and do not buy Robocop 2. It’s utter garbage and maybe one of the worst games I’ve ever played until I played Robocop 3…

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